Tourist from Hell
 
Thor May
 
 
Tourist Excuse me, do you know a good coffee shop around here?
Local Sorry sir, my English is poor. You want coffee? I think the Star Supermarket has some coffee.
Tourist No, no. My feet are killing me. I'm dying of thirst. I want a shot of caffeine to pick me up. There must be some place with an espresso machine in the vicinity.
Local I don't understand sir. Ask your hotel. That's my bus. Sorry.
Tourist Yah, what's wrong with these people. Nobody can answer simple questions. Why the heck did they bring the Olympics here?
Student (comes up to the tourist) Excuse me sir. Where are you from? Do you like China? It's a beautiful day today. What are you doing?
Tourist Who are you buddy? Ah well, alright. Let's see if you know something useful. Where's the nearest coffee shop?
Student Sorry sir, my English is poor. You want coffee? I think the Star Supermarket has some coffee.
Tourist Ah, god! We've been here before... Do you Chinese learn these answers out of a book or something? See ya buddy.
Student I don't understand sir. Ask your hotel. That's my bus. Sorry.
Tourist (talking to himself) Aaagh ! I'm gonna' kill the next dude who says that. Goddamit, these people must have coffee shops somewhere. Maybe they are another national secret, like everything in this place.