There once was a girl called Amity Li

who wasn't too pretty,

but she was smart.



She dated a man

who worked in a shoe shop,

and just to please him

agreed that Kentucky Fried

was the best

of all possible places

to go for a swish night out.



The shoe shop man was ecstatic,

and gave her his mobile phone,

which next to dainty, lace-up shoes,

was the nearest thing to his heart.




Now Amity Li had ambition.

That day after work

she didn't call the shoe man's mother's house,

where he still lived

on 20 yuan pocket money a week.



No, she called God,

who thought she had a damned cheek,

but didn't hang up in her ear

when she asked

what he'd most like in the world.



It had never occurred to God

to want anything else,

since he had it all.



But when she asked,

he felt a twinge of desire, and realized

that he hadn't the heart of Amity Li.



It was awful to know

that he hadn't the heart of Amity Li.

She had to be won.



So he pledged to give her her heart's desire.

Amity's heart skipped a beat,

but only one beat,

before she uttered the price.



I'd adore, she murmured,

a free phone account for eternity.



So now you know why, to this day,

you can still hear her voice

just by dialling directory assistance.


by Thor


Amity Li copyright (c) Thor May 2000, all rights reserved

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